Three Way Street: Douchecrime in New York City

Crime-fucking-riders beware – New Dorkers regularly give the fuckfinger to police! To each other! To common sense! Seriously, are people in New York all retarded? Apparently so, judging from this insanely mesmerizing video, which proves that driving, cycling and even walking ought to be 1st period subjects at the giant re-education camp for selfish twats that is America.

They try to kill you just for riding according to the law here, after all – I can’t imagine how one of the Audi-driving manchildren of Prague would react if I dared to cut them off in traffic… Anyway, check it out:

Bastogne nad Vltavou

It’s been said many time, many ways, but still:

 

Makes me giggle.

Salo noted the fact that it is face-freezing cold, and I’d just like to take a few pixels to point out that I agree. What he OUGHT to do about it is to post some pictures of his luxurious tour de Marin County here so we can all dream up novel curses to share with him next time we see him. Not to worry, though, spring is on the way… Right? I’ve actually seen more and more commuters out these days despite the cold. Even the messenger with the cargo bike is back on the streets. It gets to feeling as though Prague is warming to cyclists, until I get home and find the “no bicycles” sign the fat bastard owner installed in the lift especially for me.

One little thing that I do in cold like this is to loosen each spoke a quarter turn, then draw it back in again. It lets me know which ones are stressed and where to expect problems.  That and keeping the chain clean. I’m not sure if it helps anything, but it makes me feel better 🙂

Boldog karácsonyt, ty vole…

As some of you might have noticed in the comments of our “Buy/Sell” section, the Herce-Hurca guys in Budapest have opened up a shop! They have a nice online assortment of bits and pieces and the prices are reasonable, so leave your wives/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/parents/dogsandcats a nice, subtle hint to check it out Christmas style 😉 It’s about as close to local as fixie shops get!

 

Momentary Lapses

Must have been something in the rohliky today, because I saw no less than 9 bike commuters on the way to work! Not couriers, hurrying to their lurking stair in front of the CSOB on Na Prikope, but actual, in the flesh cycle commuters with feral looks, fenders, ear warmers and big, bulky bags!

Nothing really to say, I was just sort of excited! Probably I missed something? Is everyone who cycles to work meant to get a half-day off?

Polo tomorrow?

Canada Goes the Way of the USA

It’s sort of a blog-crime to repost things that Bike Snob already pointed out, given that all 6 readers here read the Bike Snob first, but this video of some fat douchebag politician from Toronto is too sick to let go. I know it’s all stereotyping, but I really had this closely guarded illusion that, as weird as Canadians are, they are at least “progressive” in that that they aren’t generally outright evil. Wrong, I guess. This fat bastard was recently elected Mayor of Toronto, but could just as easily be mayor of Vysočany. Thank God for the triple bypass.

Speckled Green Map

The Auto*Mat guys, always adept at polishing up the edges of thunderclouds until they look something like chrome, have published this “Green Map”, which includes cycling-friendly spots in the center of Prague. It’s a vaguely situationist undertaking, and pretty cool to see. These folks really are trying to put a brave face on and start changing perceptions a bit. The map has some unique features, one of the most interesting of which is a time legend – a legend which shows how long it would take an average walker or cyclist to cover a certain distance. You can also use it to locate a bike rack in the center of Prague – the first person to photograph all five and post them here wins a super prize!

Auto*Mat are looking for partners and advertisers to help bring the map online. Given the stated mission of the undertaking, it sort of begs the question: why didn’t they save the paper and just put the thing online in the first place? Will another free throwaway map really help convert the great “over-washed” masses or just create more backpack lint and white space for Americans to scribble “eshtay yeden peevo proseem”? Either way, it’s got to be more effective than the graffito scrawled on the construction barrier at the ongoing experiment in urban vomit that is the Narodni trida metro plaza. “We Love the Auto*Mat” writ large in red spraypaint beside “Fuck Police Ganga Anarchist!” or whatever, only reaffirms to the Tesco-shopping public that anyone who cares about their environment is a young white twat with greasy dreadlocks, an underfed dog and too much free time.

Auto*Mat ought to organize a “rychla akce” down there this weekend to repaint a nice hippy mural on the construction barrier and weld some bike racks onto it as well.

 

In the meantime, “mainstream” Prague has responded:

Prague polo team takes Pardubice by storm

The Golden Boys, Poločas Rozpadu: Smrťák, salo, Pavel

As we mentioned previously, this past weekend our friends in Pardubice hosted a polo tournament. Unfortunately, it so happened that it coincided with the Czech National Single Speed Championships, which swiftly reduced the ranks of potential players from Prague in half.

On Saturday morning, three of us who either lacked the necessary equipment or interest to partake in the single-speed MTB race, gathered and set course for Pardubice. As a tribute to the lack of enthusiasm for bike polo exhibited by the other members of our less than numerous group and the general trend in the past months, we decided to aptly call our team Poločas Rozpadu (Half-life).

However, what we lacked in quantity we supplemented with quality and sailed through the first part of the tournament without letting a single goal against, winning all three games 5:0. We continued in this style through the play-off games, where we won 5:0 against Bussy Pussy in semifinals and finally 2:0 in the game for gold against Deer Hunters. Pussy Reggae lost in the battle for bronze medal to Bussy Pussy (yes, we see the naming pattern but we don’t know any details, it might be some Pardubice thing..). As a final bonus, we played one exhibition game against the best players Pardubice had to offer and after a much tougher match we prevailed once again and won 5:3.

All in all, we had a great time (even the weather was favorable, which can’t be said about the poor sods racing in the single-speed championships in rain and mud!) and we are looking forward to the spring tournament the Pardubice guys plan to organize.

More pictures at http://www.bikepolo.ic.cz/BikePolo/Photos.html

Cats and Dogs or Polo, This Wednesday

Weather permitting (meaning it’s not pouring cats and dogs), we are playing tomorrow, from 8:30 PM in Malešice. Clearly, we aren’t into water polo but if you are unsure about the weather, remember that as we say around here, you aren’t made of sugar and take advice from the Aussie Chopper Reid.

The Customary Wednesday Polo

As usual, we play at the Malešice rink. Start at 8:30 PM. It’s getting pretty chilly after the sun sets so be prepared!

Wednesday Polo Session

Despite how it might look, we are playing tomorrow evening, from 8:00 PM at the Malešice rink.

The weather is still pretty good, so don’t be a sissy and show up, too! (We also have extra mallets for newcomers so you don’t have to worry about that if you just want to come and try it out.)