Nice video!

Hey all you wankers! or E-coli III – Beware The Bike Culture

I’m not sure if this is serious how seriously to take this email, but I swear it was received. I’ll post it here in all its glory. In the end, I’m not sure what Rev. Phil wants – a kitchen? A theater? A couch? A round of antibiotics and a package of Action Wipes? Anyway, he’s really disappointed about the response from Prague to his proposed bikeanalia straight outta Portland.

I can say with all confidence that I will not be attending any such performance. My threshold for “creative” genre-bending is breached by MDMA brunch and if I were to “lube my bike’s bottom bracket”, I can assure you it would happen in private. Sorry if it sounds prude, but shit, that seat licking thing, that’s how diseases are spread.

Enjoy 😀

Hi Praha Fixed!

My name is reverend phil. I have been kicking ass all over Portland
Oregon: racing kids bikes downhill, jousting on tall bikes, more than
a few years of polo behind me, and i can drink myself under the table
and wake up and cook amazing meals

AND NOW IM COMING TO PRAHA!

Beyond just biking around drinking beer and enjoying life my team and I are
sharing a collection of erotic bicycle movies.

Yes, bike porn.

We have straight porn, lesbian porn, queer porn, polo porn, mtb porn,
bmx porn, rain gear porn, exercise bike porn and more! Each movie is a
cinematic triumph for healthier lives via good sex and good cycling.

For 4 years we have traveled around North America showing these
inspiring works of bikesexuality and now, for the first time, we are
in Europe! This is a pretty special thing. We don’t sell DVDs and you
can’t watch many movies online. The ONLY way to see them is when we
visit and local bikers set up a screening.

Our polo/porno history goes back a ways. Seattle asked us to play when
they hosted the North American Hardcourt Championships 2 years ago. We
had multiple screenings and the drunk fuck polo players screamed and
laughed for hours. But just last month we visited Leipzig for an
alleycat race and decided to do an impromptu show in an attic that
night.  It was great!

I am planning on playing polo regardless, but if you can help us with
a show then I would be REALLY stoked.

We would love to play in Praha Wednesday June 15th. That is very soon, but
it is totally possible. We have our own projector, but we need a
space, some chairs, and an appropriate audio system for the space. Oh
and we need some mature bikers!

We have asked around but so far the response from Praha has been kinda
pathetic. It makes me sad, because ive wanted to visit prague for more
than a decade!

But check it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuDxS3mRc7M (a trailer, NSFW)
http://leagueofbikepolo.com/forum/places-travel/2011/04/30/bike-smut-in-euopre-now

We are coming and we need your help!

rev

—

Bikes and sex for the purpose of saving humanity.

www.BikeSmut.com
http://bikeporntour.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000730292362
http://bikesmut.tumblr.com/
https://twitter.com/#!/BikeSmut

UAC Dráhový pohár 2011 / UAC Track Cup 2011

Velodrom Třebešín, © PedalProject

Po ročnej pauze, keď sa organizátori z UAC (Unie Amaterských Cyklistů) nedohodli so správcami Třebešínskeho velodrómu na podmienkach prenájmu, je tu v roku 2011 opäť dráhový pohár, nazvaný ČMSS a.s. velodrom Cup, a pretekári sa môžu tešiť na 6 dielov. Dva z nich sa uskutočnia na velodróme v Lounech (dĺžka 440m), a tieto podujatia sú určené aj pre cestné bicykle. Zvyšné 4 diely sa budú konať v Prahe na Třebešíne (dĺžka 333m) a sú určené iba pre dráhové bicykle s pevným prevodom, bez bŕzd.

Na každý diel su pripravené rôzne dráhové disciplíny, zoradené do tematických celkov, napr. sprint omnium (200m s letmým štartom, časovka na 1km, šprinty). Všetky preteky sú vypísané aj pre príchodzích, nielen pre členov UAC. Štartovné je 70 Kč a začína sa neskoré popoludnia. Ak si chceš vyskúšať aké to je pretekať na dráhe, teraz máš možnosť!

Kalendár celého seriálu vyzerá nasledovne:

• 25. máj (st), Louny, 500m šprint + časovka na 3km
• 8. jún (st), Třebešín, Sprint Omnium (200m s letmým štartom, časovka na 1km, šprinty)
• 29. jún (st), Třebešín, Omnium (200m, časovka na 3km, hladký pretek, vyraďovací pretek)
• 13. júl (st), Třebešín, časovka jednotlivcov na 3km
• 25. aug (št), Louny, 500m šprint + časovka na 3km
• 07. sep (st), Třebešín, Omnium (200m, časovka na 3km, hladký pretek, vyraďovací pretek)

Ďalšie informácie nájdete na stránkach UAC.

– — –

After a quiet last year due to disagreement between the organizers from UAC (Union of Amateur Cyclists) and managers of the Třebešín velodrome about reasonable rent, the track cup, called ČMSS a.s. velodrom Cup is back in 2011 with 6 sessions. Two of them take place at the velodrome in Louny (440m), which are open for people on road bikes, too, due to milder sloping of the track there. The remaining 4 are planned to happen in Prague at Třebešín (333m) and only track bikes with fixed gear and no brakes are allowed on the track.

A different set of track disciplines are scheduled for each session, with a common theme, e.g., sprint omnium (200m with flying start, kilo, sprints). All the races are open for everybody, not just UAC members, with a starting fee of 70 CZK and start in late afternoons. If you always wanted to try racing on the track, this is a great opportunity!

The full schedule of the track cup is as follows:

• May 25 (Wed) at Louny, 500m sprint + 3km TT
• Jun 08 (Wed) at Třebešín, Sprint Omnium (200m flying start, kilo, match sprints)
• Jun 29 (Wed) at Třebešín, Omnium (200m, 3km TT, scratch, elimination)
• Jul 13 (Wed) at Třebešín, 3km individual pursuit
• Aug 25 (Thu) at Louny, 500m sprint + 3km TT
• Sep 07 (Wed) at Třebešín, Omnium (200m, 3km TT, scratch, elimination)

More details at the UAC website.

Remember

really?

alright, i’m getting a little tired of this shit. so, there are no good spots in prague to play bike polo??? well, maybe this will light a fire under all of your asses. i’m offering a brand new pair of bagaboo pedal straps (6 colors to choose from) to the first person who gives up a legit place in prague for us to play hard court bike polo. now, i mean a place where we can play at a certain time, every week without getting harassed by the police or some fat rent-a-pig. it should be somewhere around 15m wide and 30m long. the best would be someone’s private property where we can build boards and nets. i’ll settle for almost anything right now, almost anything. also, just suggesting a outdoor hockey rink doesn’t do it for me. we’ve checked out a few already and they won’t allow us to play there. so, drop a comment below and lets get this shit going!

Gold Sprints and some new friends down south

here’s a quick and dirty update:
looks like there is gunna be a Gold Sprint competition this thursday night. i don’t have to much info on the event. all i know is that it’s at the Critical Mass after party, down at the Meet Factory. the guys from Fun Bikes just posted it on Hot Dog cycles facebook page. to see the flyer, click on the photo below:

if you’re in the link-clicking kinda mood, why not check out our new friends in Bratislava:
Fixed Gear Bratislava
and in Moravia:
FixGear.cz

alright, i have to ask, has anyone else noticed rise of original names coming out of the whole fixie craze here in central europe? i have, and here are a few of my favorites:
Praha Fixed Gear
Fixed Gear Tábor
Fixed Gear Bratislava
Czech Fixed Gear
amazing!

new video from Jarní alleycat

well, it looks like everyone had a good time last saturday. here’s the video that was posted on the comment section for the Jarní alleycat by BIKEPUNX2011

check it out:

Volvo = douche bag

News update:
a new study conducted by scientists (A.S.W.H.O.L.E), shows that Volvo has now surpassed Audi as the car of choice for assholes. a comprehensive, long-term examination of the social status of over 4,500 assholes(a.k.a douche bags) from across the EU, indicates that assholes are now upgrading their burnt orange A4s to the new C70 cabriolet.

“In 2010, in Prague’s city center, there were only a handful of assholes driving Volvos,” said Patrik Arslanian, from Hot Dog cycles. “In the past six months, however, i’ve been in ten fist fights with assholes driving Volvos as compared to only one driving an Audi.”

because of this alarming new information, many cyclists have added Volvo to their list of cars (that normally consists of Mercedes, Audi and Maserati) to look out for while cycling.

-beware my friends…. beware.

 

UPDATE!!

This disturbing trend has been independently corroborated by peer review. Even more disturbing is the fact that, while Audi drivers display predictable signs of aggression consistent with male impotence, Volvo drivers may actually be physically and mentally too feeble to operate their vehicles correctly.

jaro je tady

that’s right, spring is here! well, unfortunately, that means the spring rain is here, too. so, it’s time to bust out the rain gear, race blades and add a few meters to your skid stop. first off, there are a few events coming up:

jarní alleycat – 16th of April · 13:00 – 16:00

this might actually be the closest thing to a real alleycat that prague has seen… well, maybe. 🙂

for more info:

http://bikepunx2011.wordpress.com/info-o-zavodu/

and then there is the

Pražské cyklojízdy / Prague Critical Mass – 28th of April 18:00-??

it’s always fun to ride and extend your middle finger to the thousands of douche bags, who are stuck waiting a whole 10 minutes, in their cars during the critical-mass. i know it only makes these škoda-jockeys hate us even more… but, very moment counts during this biannual event.

for more info:

http://www.cyklojizdy.cz/

and

http://www.auto-mat.cz/

one last thing i want to put out there before i finish this quick update…

bike polo, bike polo, bike polo.
i’ve got some sad news, my friends… it looks like there is a chance we might lose our spot at the Malešice rink. it’s not 100%. but, we are currently searching for a new spot, just in case. any thoughts and suggestions are welcome. the good new is… in the near future, we will be getting our lazy asses up and running with some new organization that could include membership benefits and an actual league . don’t worry, we are still the same polo playing, beer drinking, fixie riding assholes. but, with a little organization, we could possibly host a tournament this year… 🙂 there are even rumors flying around about sponsorship, custom wheel guards and some new top-secret mallet construction. stay tuned!

that’s it, i’m done. remember… don’t be a bunch of bitches… keep riding, rain or shine!

Tour de Land of the Epic Burrito

Thanks to circumstances outside of my own control and especially with no direct impact on my wallet (read: business trip), I happened to spend little over a week in The Land of the Epic Burrito (read: California) this February. I managed to squeeze a few rides over the weekends, too, and due to peer pressure I’m sharing some details with you here and now. I also like to rub it in your faces since you were freezing your collective ass here while I was getting some early season tan lines (you were asking for it, Micah!).

I rented a full-carbon[*] Specialized Tarmac equipped with compact Ultegra groupset from the good people at Menlo Velo Bicycles. Due to my work arrangements I couldn’t go for longer rides during the work week, so at least I was (ab)using it for commuting between Caltrain stations and the campus of my employer where I happened to be on that day, in various parts of the Bay Area. Saturdays were an entirely different matter, though.

[*] still not convinced I ever want to own a full-carbon bike, I find the plasticky feel and bulky shapes repulsive

 
Marin County

On Saturday morning I hopped on the first northbound Caltrain to San Francisco, got off at 22nd Street station, crawled over Portero Hill, bombed down to the Mission District where I met the nice guys of Mission Cycling at one of the iconic San Francisco cafés and off we pedaled across the city towards the Golden Gate.

   Portero Hill, 45% incline, are you fucking kidding me?!
 
We joined the rest of the group already waiting at a parking lot adjacent to the Golden Gate Bridge and then headed out to Marin County, to be back in about 6 hours and 90 miles of riding down the valleys, up redwood forests and along the Pacific coast, all in a warm sunny weather.

 
Santa Cruz Mountains

The next Saturday I ventured alone towards the local benchmark climb up Old La Honda road, followed by winding narrow descent towards Pescadero, along the Pacific coast on Highway 1, and up the redwood forests in Tunitas Creek valley.

   Picturesque Stage road between Pescadero and San Gregorio
 

   Stunning views from Highway 1, Pacific coast
 

 
In conclusion, California definitely is one of the cycling paradises. The lack of weather (yes, it rains from time to time and there might be mist and fog, boo), combined with a hilly coastline is certainly inviting. There are some things which are kind of annoying, too, e.g., the stop signs on most intersections. Especially annoying when you have clipless pedals and road shoes. No yielding to the right, no main streets. Kind of reminds me of watching American football, move ten yards and everything grinds to a halt. And another ten yards. Stop. And another. Stop.

In any case, I already want to go back and ride some more. 🙂

 

p.s., speaking of epic burritos, if you ever happen to be in the Bay Area, make sure you stop by at La Costeña Custom Burritos in Mountain View, supposedly the home of the most epic of all the epic burritos in the Silicon Valley. Hands down the best burrito I’ve ever had.