I’m not sure
if this is serious how seriously to take this email, but I swear it was received. I’ll post it here in all its glory. In the end, I’m not sure what Rev. Phil wants – a kitchen? A theater? A couch? A round of antibiotics and a package of Action Wipes? Anyway, he’s really disappointed about the response from Prague to his proposed bikeanalia straight outta Portland.
I can say with all confidence that I will not be attending any such performance. My threshold for “creative” genre-bending is breached by MDMA brunch and if I were to “lube my bike’s bottom bracket”, I can assure you it would happen in private. Sorry if it sounds prude, but shit, that seat licking thing, that’s how diseases are spread.
Hi Praha Fixed!
My name is reverend phil. I have been kicking ass all over Portland
Oregon: racing kids bikes downhill, jousting on tall bikes, more than
a few years of polo behind me, and i can drink myself under the table
and wake up and cook amazing meals
AND NOW IM COMING TO PRAHA!
Beyond just biking around drinking beer and enjoying life my team and I are
sharing a collection of erotic bicycle movies.
Yes, bike porn.
We have straight porn, lesbian porn, queer porn, polo porn, mtb porn,
bmx porn, rain gear porn, exercise bike porn and more! Each movie is a
cinematic triumph for healthier lives via good sex and good cycling.
For 4 years we have traveled around North America showing these
inspiring works of bikesexuality and now, for the first time, we are
in Europe! This is a pretty special thing. We don’t sell DVDs and you
can’t watch many movies online. The ONLY way to see them is when we
visit and local bikers set up a screening.
Our polo/porno history goes back a ways. Seattle asked us to play when
they hosted the North American Hardcourt Championships 2 years ago. We
had multiple screenings and the drunk fuck polo players screamed and
laughed for hours. But just last month we visited Leipzig for an
alleycat race and decided to do an impromptu show in an attic that
night. It was great!
I am planning on playing polo regardless, but if you can help us with
a show then I would be REALLY stoked.
We would love to play in Praha Wednesday June 15th. That is very soon, but
it is totally possible. We have our own projector, but we need a
space, some chairs, and an appropriate audio system for the space. Oh
and we need some mature bikers!
We have asked around but so far the response from Praha has been kinda
pathetic. It makes me sad, because ive wanted to visit prague for more
than a decade!
But check it!
We are coming and we need your help!
Bikes and sex for the purpose of saving humanity.